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December 08, 2008

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Selena

"If I'm being battered, the decision to pick up the phone to call for help is different for me," says Lovelace. "There are more black men incarcerated than there are in college, so that makes it a bigger burden, and I have to question whether he will be brutalized."

*Blank effin' stare*

felicia

Tell me about Selena.

These b*stards need to be put UNDER the prisons.

And these victims are concerned about the treatment their abusers will receive.SMH

It's true, BW need to slow down - take a break - and THINK.

About THEMSELVES for a change.

"Prince George's County, Md., the wealthiest predominantly black county in the nation"

If this is happening here, imagine what's happening in the least wealthiest predominantly black counties in the nation.

Sistas need to leave the Titanic...

Lorraine

Yeah Selena,

Girlfriend is forgetting that she has just been brutalized. Are more black men incarcerated by chance or did they do something? Just asking? I found probable cause to lock up most of the ones who appeared before me (as a magistrate). If I had doubts, I would not grant the arrest warrant. Ladies wake up! I'm tired of the excuses already.

I believe its just a matter of time before some in our community turn on Obama for not getting the bms out of jail. Noone ever questions guilt or responsibility. I could be wrong, but magical thinking has spread into many veins throughout the BC. ENOUGH!

Pamela

I grew up in PG Country in the late 60s early 70s. The parents of one of my high school buddies were very well to do. Her Dad was a surgeon. When we went out we went out on groups so I was rarely around her parents. Same with her being around mine. Not long before I left town to attend college she confided in me about how her Dad was really abusive when he began to drink. She told me about how he would get so crazy that they would run away somewhere to be safe. I was amazed at this. I lost track of her after she married so I do not know if her parents remained together or not. It was maybe two to three years after I left MD that all the kids were grown and out of the house. I did not have the awareness like I do now 30 years later about how excuses are made for bm for any nonsense they do. I wonder if her mom was one of them. I have been thinking about my friend the last few years wondering how she is doing. Maybe I may be able to find out something about her using the web.

Pinky

"I believe its just a matter of time before some in our community turn on Obama for not getting the bms out of jail."

___________________________________________________

Lorraine - you've never lied..LOL. You KNOW this will happen around Feb. 1 or so.

zabeth

@Pamela- you grew up in PG county? I grew up next door in Montgomery County. I had no idea this was all going on.

sistrunkqueen

I read this two years ago. I wonder what happened to these women? Have they survived or not? Also how many of these women are members of the talented tenth? You know the ineffective, bougie class of black people. The black sororities, 100 black women and eastern stars who have their soirees and boules. I bet their are members who are being abused mentally and physically. You would never know because they are faking to make it.

CW

The more we incarcerate..The less there are roaming the street...Someone forgot about this simple logic...You don't have to work for the police to have a grasp on this ; )

Evia

"I read this two years ago. I wonder what happened to these women? Have they survived or not? Also how many of these women are members of the talented tenth? You know the ineffective, bougie class of black people. The black sororities, 100 black women and eastern stars who have their soirees and boules. I bet there are members who are being abused mentally and physically. You would never know because they are faking to make it."


Sistrunkqueen, do I detect an element of hostility towards these bougie women? LOL! I've never quite understood why some folks are annoyed with bougie black folks. Trust me. They've had to make major sacrifices and have compromised themselves greatly to get and hang onto that money and prestige. They're earned every cent of their status. For ex. you mentioned that these women are "faking it." 'Faking it' in any realm of life is VERY stressful and constant stress has a very harmful effect on your health and on the quality of your life.

Maybe because I've mingled closely with AA women on all levels--from welfare to extremely wealthy, I have lots of empathy and sympathy for ALL of them.

They really have a lot in common--moreso than their differences. They ALL walk on a daily tightrope of trying to be loyal to the bc and bm and MOST of them have been indoctrinated to be outright mammies. They're ALL suppressing a LOT of their pain and their needs in order to keep things humming along as they strive to be "strong black women," because we know that a true BLACK woman is never supposed to break down and scream out for mercy or for help. LOL! You can lose your "black woman card" instantly for doing that.

They're ALL experiencing this, except for a few exceptions here and there. And mostly ALL of them (despite their incomes or socioeconomic level) help to maintain this "conspiracy of silence" and secrecy about what's actually happening to black females (themselves) in this society because they've ALL been indoctrinated to take it in the butt, if necessary, to protect and defend that bm and the so-called bc--just like the bw in the above excerpt who's worrying about whether her bm abuser will go to jail. LOL!!!

Don't forget that many/most AA women in 2008 actually believe in "black love" (though they may never have experienced it, and many have never known any bw who has)and believe that the "black nation" is going to magically occur despite the fact that so many AAs are chin-deep in self-hate. Remember that reality and truth play only a tiny role, if any, in the bw's indoctrination program. So they feel that they've just got to hang on somehow--until black love and the black nation become a reality. SMH

I've been a member of Jack and Jill and was recruited for the 100 Black Women's organization in 2 states. Those women are just like any of the rest of bw, except that they have larger houses, beautiful cars, larger bank accounts, etc.--none of which matters at all if you got punched in the face last night because your bm husband needed to flex his dominance over you in order to work off his job or social frustrations. But this morning, you apply your makeup carefully this morning to hide the swelling, put on your "strong black woman" suit just like that poor bw and just keep on trekking. This applies to ALL of those women, whether they in the talented tenth or on welfare.

Evia

The more we incarcerate..The less there are roaming the street...Someone forgot about this simple logic...You don't have to work for the police to have a grasp on this ; )

I hope that in your line of work, I don't get labeled as 'soft on criminals,'-LOL!- but I don't really want more bm to be incarcerated. I might be saying that because I haven't seen a bm in about 3 weeks. LOL! So I never get bothered by them in any way since I only see them occasionally and usually from a distance.

My position on this bw-bm use and abuse thing is that bw need to just GET AWAY and STAY AWAY from bm predators--no matter what the socioeconomic level of the predator. At this point, we have no way of protecting black women!! The system has broken down. I mean, if you can't protect bw from predators, how can anyone in good conscience keep advocating that the women should keep associating with the predator???? It's way too risky.

These "black love" folks keep pushing bw at these bm when they KNOW that many of these males are one hair away from exploding in a violent way. I even read about and hear sometimes that many black males fear other black males, so why would anyone keep pushing women at men who even other males fear??

And why aren't these "black love" folks PRESSURING these bm to improve--across the board? This is why many of these out-of-control males **think** they're just fine as they are and continue to blame bw and de evil wm for all that goes wrong in their lives--since no one dares to call these men out on their destructive and/or irresponsible ways.

SMH--At this point in time, we should ALL know that the so-called "black community" is in a **free fall**. It's in CHAOS and chaos is very DANGEROUS, especially for females, children, the elderly, and even for physically weaker younger men.


sistrunkqueen

Yeah The bougie black class is feeling the pinch too. They are very fake and phony. Some have looked down at average blacks all of their lives. I can sympathize for a small part with these women, but they perpetuate this myth. The Huxtables were an example of the strong black family. That was then and this is now. Not very many BM doctors out here are marrying a sbw even if she is pedigreed. I live in the Black Mecca with all of these organizations and they are so ineffective. The women are all single or divorced. The men are doggish or bisexual. It is a social landmine in Atlanta and other chocolate cities with the black middle class. No i am not hostile toward them--just pragmatic about their existance.

CW

@Evia

I would NEVER mistake you as being soft on a predator! LOL...It's just that a lot of women have a 'victim mentality'...Where they won't prosecute, but wonder why this (beatings or other crime) keeps happening...

sistrunkqueen

I hope these women learned a valuable lesson and vet men. They need to ask some hard questions. I have noticed more and more that men have a very low opnion of women in general. Not just black men , but Asian and white too. We need to be very diligent in our efforts to live well.

ak

Why are so many instances of these domestic abuse cases involving black wealthy women popping up in Prince George County in Maryland without seeming to spread out evenly through let's say other parts of Maryland? That's the eerie part to me.

It reminds me of Stepford Wives a bit and the suspicion and the story one had to uncover as to why all the women were the all the same, doing the same exact things etc.

When a place has certain peculiarities unlike other areas, it seems like there has to be a specific story behind it.

Are all these men these women married coming from a mental home located outside of Prince George County maybe? Or maybe Harvard, Princeton, and Yale have jails or mental homes nearby, you know across the street.

A man can show you his degree from Harvard but that doesn't mean he wasn't ever committed by the mental institution across the street from the campus.

ak

Wow in those mahogany cafe links I read the part of the story on page four where Lauree Covington, Wimbish's friend who was living at Wimbish and her husband's house, DIDN'T want to call the police on Wimbish's husband even when she was ready to--because Covington didn't want her friend's husband to go to jail!

WOW! So they really think a predator with three degrees within a high financial bracket is nowhere near as bad as the predator living in Baltimore let's say who never held a job down and kept going in and out of prison? Whoa!

Lorraine

I'm not going to write a book here, but I tend to be hard on these women because I was once one of them. I spent 5 years in a relationship with the grand DBR master who happened to be a non bm. I look back now and realize everything that happened, I allowed to happen. If I had followed my own God given instincts and cut it off at the beginning, 4 years would never have followed. We MUST not ignore the red flags or signs. These men really do tell us who they are from the beginning. Though it can happen, most don't change after marriage. They were that way from the beginning.

I live south of PG County and someone woke up and realized that the churches were silent partners in abuse telling these women to stay with their husbands for whatever reasons. Women were going to their so-called pastors for help and all they did was advised them to stay and get counseling. I don't know how much counseling helps a batterer. I just don't. Maybe one percent maybe .5 percent. Don't know. But I don't advice risking it. Get out save your life and your children's lives. I would like to say this is another reason to avoid all black churches, but I am sure some ww/has experienced a similar consult. For sure in PG County, the church was one of the factors in the high incidents. Juanita Bynum was from the same area and is very well revered here.

Moving on, I volunteered for the past three years as some of you know planning a program for victims and survivors of DV. We set aside a day of pampering for these women. They are treated to workshops, information from Police, Immigration, housing, employment and counseling. We provide breakfast, and lunch, a keynote speaker for the main event, entertainment and personal survivor testimonies.

Our second program brought Yvette Cade from the newspaper article. I met her daughter and sister. She brought along sisters in suffering Mildred Muhammad (wife of the DC sniper who held us hostage for 3 weeks) and Frieda Edwards whose boyfriend decided to be a copy cat and attempt to burn her alive as well. What is wrong with these men? We were treated to some powerful testimonies and if just one woman could garner the strength to leave then our job was done.

Carolyn Thomas is truly tragic as her abusive ex boyfriend, shot her point blank range in the face. She is called the lady without a face. http://www.carolyn-thomas.org/index.asp

There is a short video of her story here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWOh50s1XNE&feature=related

Although her name is being kept secret, I hope that she is the unnamed patient who received a near full facial transplant on 12/17/08. This lady doesn't even have a nose and has to breathe through a trach. Well, I thank God I was able to leave for good, but again, I was where many of these women are and only left when I was ready. I came to the conclusion that God had something better in store for me. And He did. Again ladies, an insult no matter how jokingly told, is still an insult and is just the beginning. Pay attention to the signs and look out for you. No man is worth your life nor those of your children. When you stand up to these bullies in the beginning, they see that you are not one to be messed with and go on to the next victim. They are not worth it --- period!

lois

Hmmm, Jack and Jill are nowing accepting darker tone bw/bm? I know from their history one had to be a lighter tone. Are there any other race people in Jack and Jill? Well, it is about time they came around...that type of behavior should have never been allowed.

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