One description of goddess is a woman of great beauty or grace. Yvette M. Jarvis far surpasses this description being so many things to so many. Mother, politician, activist, model, singer, actress, entertainer and presently special advisor on Immigration to the mayor of Athens, Greece still somehow barely scratches the surface of this beautiful and ultra talented woman of the world.
Yvette and I recently discussed her feelings on interracial marriage. She has an added aspect of living abroad and offers a fresh and wonderful perspective. Yvette's webpages are http://www.yvettemjarvis.gr and www.myspace.com/yvettejarvis. She is also a member of the Black Women In Europe Social Network.
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What is your partner's ethnicity?
Caucasian American
And how long had you known him when you got married?
5 years
When were you married?
July 14 1995
Was this your first interracial relationship?
No
How did you feel about interracial marriage relationships before you were in one?
I never had a problem with interracial relationships. I found myself attracted to other races from very early on--as early as elementary school.
Do you feel any different about interracial marriage and relationships now?
Not one iota different. I truly believe people are people. There are cultural differences that can bring difficulties to a relationship but the truth is we are all children of God.
Did you ever or do you now face skeptics and criticism from friends and/or family about your interracial marriage?
At the very beginning when I announced my upcoming marriage to my first husband who is Greek, my father and brother had problems with the relationship. They quickly got over their bad feelings once they got to know Stelios better.
My friends on the other hand who knew my dating habits in college were not phased at all. Although my Black girlfriends always expressed their curiosity about how I did it and their doubt if they could cross date. Most of my friends and family were more concerned with my moving to Greece than anything else.
Do you recall how you first inform your friends and family of your interracial relationship and subsequent marriage?
My very first interracial crush was 6th grade. My sisters teased me for a bit but they found George very handsome. In college, I introduced my father to my Chinese boyfriend and he remarked "When are you going to bring home an Eskimo?"
What about your husband's family? Did you or he face any criticism from them? If so, how was it handled?
I first met John's nephews and nieces who came to visit us at our home in Greece. They fell in love with me and when they arrived home they bragged and bragged about "Aunt" Yvette without ever mentioning once my race. His one Sister I had met on vacation and the other one met me over the phone. Both Sisters knew that I was Black and never thought twice about it.
Now with John's parents (2nd husband) there were some misgivings at first. He got into a terrible fight with his father over my being Black. It almost kept him from going to his parents' 50th wedding anniversary. I insisted that he attend even if I had to stay back at the hotel. Of course all's well that ends well. They both came to love me and admire me for the person I am and not my race.
Have you ever felt pressure or a significant difference between your non interracial and interracial relationships?
No I can't say that I have.
Do you feel that there are societal criticisms (in America and Greece) and pressures concerning interracial relationships from both the blacks and whites?
For sure in America, there are social pressures depending upon where you live. New York is different from the Mid West or the South. However, whenever John and I go home with our son, we travel through our different family's neighborhoods and we don't think twice about it. We refuse to let whomever's opinion damage the harmony we have in our family. African American women in the black community have often been described as hesitant or resistant to interracial relationships in general. African, Caribbean and other women of African descent don't to seem to have these issues.
Do you think this is related to the history of slavery in America and the negative images still prevalent in our communities?
I am sure subconsciously a case could be made for that. I honestly don't know why my friends were/are so different from me. It could just simply be a matter of taste in men!
Do you have any suggestions for black women just entering interracial relationships?
I dislike giving personal advice because everyone is different and what works for you may not work for someone else, but for the sake of your article I'll say, acquire a thick skin. Be certain of why you love your partner and of what brought you together. Have a sense of humor about everything, even race. Be sure you are honest about your feelings about race and have conversations about it get it out of the way for the 2 of you so that others can't bring it up to separate you.
Thank you!
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COMMENTS: (transferred from original page):
1. --A new comment from “Delishmish” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
This is clearly a woman who has NEVER limited her choices. It's wonderful to see. Look how far it has taken her. Interviews like this are so great to read. Thanks Lorraine.
2. --A new comment from “Phantom Mare” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
Thank you for the article. Will be waiting for more insight from her.
3.---Evia said:
"It almost seems to cause them pain to read that some of us black women are Living Well with our husbands. Let's face it: as LOTS more black women believe they can find and DO find loving partners who happen to be white or white-skinned men of whatever background, people will simply have to get over **their** issues."
4. ---A new comment from “felicia” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Evia, I HEARD THAT AND CAN I GET AN AMEN!LOL I say lets give the haters even more pain if you know what I mean. Living a well loved life with your husband/partner and bringing children into this world who are well loved, confident, safe, and provided for by their father is a completely attainable blessing. Living WELL is the best and sweetest revenge.
I just LOVED this interview with this sista who is obviously living well. And it's true that a man and a woman in love are simply that. The only significance "race" has in a loving relationship is the significance OTHERS put on it. People are people pure and simple. We're all homosapiens and therefore genetically speaking of the SAME HUMAN race. Everything else is POLITICAL and about the money trail and keeping the status quo (which benefits those in power) intact. That's the way my husband and i see it. Americas obsession with "race" is a SICKNESS. And my husband and I will never let this obsession by strangers and this culture effect in any way our marriage and family. Sistas should NEVER let "them" (and there are multiple folks and institutions who fit that description) win. I know I won't.
5. ---A new comment from “Mekare” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
"Americas obsession with "race" is a SICKNESS."
I totally agree.
6. ---A new comment from “Mary” was received on the post "Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
this made me think about how someone mentioned how a coworker asked "what do yall eat?" about her and her white husband
7. ---A new comment from “Lola” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
Great interview Lorraine & Yvette. I applaud Yvette for never self-limiting. That was a very inspiring read, especially the part where they didn't let family members ruin their relationship, instead they fought for their love. As for people having issues with bw in interracial relationships, that is definitely THEIR issues that they need to work on. Anytime someone is hostile to you, they only show their insecurities.
8. ---A new comment from “Cheddars” on the post, "Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
Hi Lorraine, I finally stumbled upon your column. I'm glad I did. Thanks for that interview. I enjoy reading, hearing and seeing anything that further normalizes something which I already consider to be normal. Such a beautiful family
9. ---A new comment from “” was received on the post "Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
This is a great article. Thanks for sharing this. Also I think Greece is one of those countries that has more men than women. So that would be a plus for any BW travelers.
10. ---A new comment from “Ann” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
Hey, ladies and while you are living your life pull a girlfriend along for the ride. She might like what she sees
11. ---A new comment from “Dorian” was received on the post ““Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
She's INCREDIBLE...and this is a very timely read for me. I'm heading to Greece for my very first marathon next month and can't wait to flirt up a storm :-)
12. ---A new comment from “Sulis” was received on the post “Yvette Jarvis - A True Black Greek Goddess ”
Comment:
You write very well.
These are great interviews
Posted by: Mia Martin | 01/27/2009 at 07:04 AM