A couple of months ago, I posted a note on my Ezine from a very puzzled young bw, Junia, who had been labeled as **acting white" and rejected by her young black peers because she was studious, behaved with decorum, spoke properly, was motivated to achieve, wanted to get married one day, etc.
Junia is also the young woman who sent me the link to the Youtube video that focused on a Bw#1 who launched a verbal beatdown on a Bw#2 who'd said she had a highly enjoyable sexual experience with a **gasp** white man. Subsequently, Bw#2 withdrew her video from Youtube because of the hellish fury directed at her for admitting to that enjoyable experience.
I was sad for Junia because of what she was enduring at the hands of the AB ("acting" black) crew. For those who don't know who or what the AB crew is: the AB crew is an ever-increasing segment of AAs who have either lost touch with or never had any idea of what being an regular, decent black person means, so instead they put on frequent displays of loud (in manner and dress), crude, undisciplined, and often obnoxious behavior and generally subscribe to a counter-productive, impulse-ridden, counter-societal, and frequently suicidal, nihilistic value system. Since they don't know what being an authentic, decent black person is or of being an authentic person of any type, they spend lots of time "acting" the way they **think** a black person acts. They learn or get their script for "acting" black from from black stereotypes onTV, in movies, music, and from others among their confused and damaged peers as well as community and church members. I have observed people in the AB crew to range in age from 2-80.
Back to Junia--I received this note from her yesterday. Considering what she'd experienced with the ABs and considering what's going on the popular culture with so many AAs, she'd been wondering whether she was likely to meet a loving and lovable Quality man for marriage since she's found the behavior of many young AA males to be repulsive.
I have only dated one Black man in my life but I am not completely opposed to it. I mostly just date white men. Anyway, a young woman named _______ is studying in a lot of the same classes as me in SIPA (School of International and Public Affaris, at Columbia Univ.). She is from Germany, and I took some German and high school (easier to learn and remember because of the germanic roots it shares with English) so we became friends. Her older brother ______ was visiting her from Germany about two months ago for a week long business conference in NYC. He works for a large German company which is ranked #4 by Forbes for largest German companies. And let me just say that German is an extremely useful language if you would like to go into business, technological or chemical fields in case your children were interested in learning German, or even you yourself. Lol
Anyway, ________ is an extremely large international telecomunications company, and it also owns T-mobile. When my friend's brother came into town, she invited me out to lunch with her, her boyfriend and her brother. I was completely taken by him. He was very tall, 6'4 (perfect for me, I am 5'9), and in great shape with light blonde hair and clear blue eyes. He was such a gentleman and so much fun to talk to. He speaks French & English as well as his native language so I was able to talk to him in French as well (because I speak fluent French). He was so intelligent and he invited me to breakfast the next morning, so I met him at his hotel--the Ritz Carlton (compliments of his job) and we went walking through the city. We pretty much spent the rest of the week together after that and it was so heartbreaking to see him go.
We still email each other almost everyday and I am going to France in two weeks for an extended period of time so I will be able to see him often and he has promised to give me a tour of Germany and introduce me to his parents who live in Dusseldorf. My only complaint is that he is twenty-six and soon to be twenty-seven and I just four months ago turned twenty. But I would absolutely move to Germany if there was a chance of marriage between us. It would not interfere with my job because one of my majors is International Relations (I'm a double major) so I can live just about anywhere. It seems so soon, but I have dated many many white men and _______ and I have such a strong connection. We have the same beliefs and are both financially stable. ______ makes about €150,000 and as he moves up will make much more, and we both agree that we want five children and for them to be raised internationally and speak multiple languages. So I am hoping that when I go to France it will determine how things are going to turn out between us.
I must say that I would reccomend European men to any woman; they are true gentlemen (for the most part). I will keep you updated on the situation between me and _______ and will read the romance blog for more stories like me and him.
Junia, this is such a wonderful opportunity for you!! The difference in your ages may seem too much to you now, but he's not really much older than you as the two of you get older. My first husband was 5 years older than me, and I didn't pause. I think that the two of you are simply at different stages of your life:--you're just starting college and he's establishing himself in his career, but in a few years, that won't matter AT ALL.
I'm SO impressed by how you're vetting him, in terms of your shared values & goals, his emotional suitability, mental makeup, and his ability to provide for a family of 5 children!! I know you will continue to vet him as you spend more time with him. Remember that the purpose of dating him is to determine whether he is who he seems to be and whether he's the Quality man you seek.
And since you'll be in Europe anyway, make the best use of the time there to scout out the territory for other possible candidates. IMO, the search is not over until the I-do's are exchanged. LOL!
10/28/08--PLEASE SEE UPDATE on this story HERE